at the gates of new cardine

(scavenged forgotten play report from facebook, february 2012)

we got back with the heads and the shifter lady was like "what happened to your friends?" and we're like "oh, they're dead or something" and she says "well, here's your three tickets to new cardine"

so we're not sure what to do with the third ticket. we can't sell it because all the people in the town would swamp us if they knew we had it. and we can't save it for you guys because there's only one and there's no safe place to leave it, so

so - eventually, we conduct the chocolate factory/golden ticket scam, except we never tell anybody that there's a prize, it's just us selling cheap chocolates for no reason.

but at the end of the day this kid comes up and he's like," i won the prize, what is it?" so kit casts sleep on him and we stuff him in a sack and make the two hour trek to the wall.

we get to the gate and it's just packed with soldiers, and one dude at a desk. we show him our papers. "me and this guy and the kid in this sack are going to new cardine."

so he's like "ok."

and then he's like "OPEN THE GATES"

and it's this ridiculous moment with lights shining and angels singing and everyone is clapping.

and then we're on the other side and i dump out the kind and we're like, "welp, enjoy your new life, kid"

and he's like, "what? you have to look after me now, i'm a kid"

"what? you're thinking about it all wrong. don't worry! you're in New Cardine, now!"

and then i'm singing this - new CARdine - they've got everyTHING you NEED and there's a musical montage

and then gordy's like, "the kid is stunned"

cool. we stealth away.

MIND APES, BOTTLE-WIGHTS, PEOPLE of DUST, KIKIMORA, HARBINGER MOTHS, and TWINLINGS

MIND APE (4HD)
telepathic, its brain is exposed within a glass cylinder. blasts you with its mind bullets. whenever it uses psychic powers, there’s a 1-in-3 chance its brain will explode.

BOTTLE-WIGHT
a tall figure, its head enclosed in a glass shell, opaque. it attacks and grabs with long spindly claws. if the shell is broken, it reveals a second shell, transparent. inside that- a button, on a third shell, this one filled with blue liquid. If the button is depressed, the third shell comes loose, and the wight collapses. On the next turns the liquid turns purple, then red, then it explodes into 3 stars. each star cuts its way into a nearby target. A maker of bottle-wights is called a bottler.

PEOPLE of DUST

1 proud	named but faceless people	with eyes sewed up	studying a portrait 1
2 miserable	trapdoor women	blind	attending a dark liturgy 2
3 friendly	soot children	painted blue	drinking tea 3
4 hospitable	creatures of bone	in thick makeup	within a dense fog of toxins 4
5 shy	creatures of wood	in purple cloaks	searching through junk 5
6 volatile	creatures of the forest	wearing masks of the sun god	searching corpses' pockets 6
7 hungry	small furry animals	writhing with eternal flame	surrounded by books 7
8 delicate	small leathery animals	victims of severe burns	in a room ringed with sigils 8
9 fancy	little men	with teeth filed to points	slumbering 9
10 damned	beggars	covered in blades	waiting to die 10
11 humble	twisted men	held together with bandages	waiting for an old friend 11
12 vengeful	clockwork women	covered in beetles	drinking heavily 12

(alternate PEOPLE of DUST generator on abulafia)

the KIKIMORA

KIKIMORA (1HD)
(group: 1 lv3 kikimora in 300)
filthy tiny women, veiled, with long sharp twisted faces, living in secret among humans. very polite, doing good deeds. They love liquor. If mistreated, will break things, cause mischief, gather, and try to murder their hosts.

HARBINGER MOTHS prefigure some event by d4 days, depending on their color, they may indicate coming storms, political strife, good fortune, plague - a black swarm indicates the discoverer's death.

TWINLING
(group: a lv3 twinling in 3, a lv5 in 6, a lv7 twinling maven in 9)
a little girl in a black and white dress. has a one-in-three chance to see you, even standing right in front of her. once she’s seen you, she goes and gets the others - moving on all fours like a spider or a cat. cuts at you with her claws. steals you away, to see the maven. speaks TWILL, the language of birds.
A TWINLING MAVEN, a woman all in red, with eyes that are all-black orbs; speaks TWILL and COMMON. is of two minds. can bisect things at will - splitting them neatly and evenly in two, with each half retaining 50% of the characteristics of the whole.

suggested new character class: the smeller

you could be a smeller.

instead of being a filthy fighter or a filthy rogue or a filthy witch; you are a like a filthy normal guy but with a good sense of smell




but then the smeller character doesn't just have to always smell stuff, like the fighter doesn't have to just fight and the wizard doesn't have to only do wizard stuff, the smeller would also have like weapons and hang out with filthy kings and could dress up and whatever like a d&d guy.

apart from that the morphology doesn't matter, maybe they're a dog, maybe a talking dog, a rat man, or a chewbacca, a horse, or a pale elf,  or a big lizard guy, or a normal human, it's up to the player to choose and the dm what's allowed

so the smeller could be like "what does the guy smell like - is he frightened?" or "i smell the air, which way did he go?" or "i smell the dagger - is it a cursed dagger?" and you'd have to answer a lot of questions like this. the dm chooses how much/ how little information the smeller can learn this way.

is that a good class? i can't be sure, it seems fun though

RPG Person Profile

( template on Zak's blog )

i'm currently running:
i run a d&d session every now and then, but i can't keep it up.

I would especially like to play:
rules-lite d&d.

I want to run a game grounded in dull medieval realities, with landed nobles and chivalry and shit, but i end up doing asylum-pyramids and filthy beggars and viscera fairies, and that's okay, too.

but I would also try:
stuff that's not d&d.

i live in:
Brisbane, Australia.

three well-known rpg products i like:
holmes basic d&d, adventurer conquerer king system, abulafia

three novels i like:
the game of thrones books, cugel's saga, the earthsea saga

three movies i like:
salute of the jugger (aka the blood of heroes), groundhog day, beetlejuice

best place to find me:
on google+

you can find free d&d stuff i made:
on this blog, and more random generators on abulafia

i will read any rpg stuff that:
is brief, or makes me think that magic is real.

games i'm in are like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX3iz0JvKUs&feature=player_detailpage#t=68

six secret scorpions

1 firx, the scorpion who lives in your liver and follows a strict code of conduct, stinging you when you get out of line.
2 saggus, the scorpion made of a million tiny human hands.
3 trang, the hairy brown scorpion the size of a horse, who builds wooden houses.
4 fray, the scorpion with tentacles of bone, who eats bees.
5 if, the scorpion who sings sweet songs of summer in order to lure folk away from their lives and into service.
6 seck, who lives on the other side of shadows, the scorpion who eats names.

skullfire island

main factions
-the heirarchs, roman conquerers from the continent
-the driftlords, like mobsters or japanese daimyos, split remnants of earlier rule

neutral factions
-the fiends, the native population of tieflings, imps and so on.
-the lizards, bands of mercenaries, often dragonborn.
-the collectors, the ashsellers, the ghouls and the tinkers

beast factions
-the hive, kruthik or similar
-the rocs and raptors
-the triffids

cities
-The industrial city, Phintad
-The holy city, Kitan
-the steppe merchant town, Yartagun
-the ruined city, Argol

the guy trains you

THE GUY TRAINS YOU
which character trains you - which bonus that gives you

based on zak's (fighter/ranger/thief) tables, but more different.

whenever you level up, roll once on table 1. get that bonus.
as well, check the table for your class, get the appropriate bonus for the character who's training you - or if they're not on there fudge it, or you can just roll on that table.

basically I'm trying to do the thing it says in the DMG where you have to find a higher level character who can train you, in order to level up. Because i'm being stingy with levels, I want levelling up to be a cool thing that gives you cool stuff.

TABLE 1
[1] +1d4 to your prime ability (if maxed, roll again on this table)
[2] +1d4 to two ability scores at random (if an ability is maxed, not that one)
[3] +1 tohit and +1 to all saves
[4] +1d2 to your ok-good saves but not to your worst save (if any).

TABLE 2: FIGHTERS
[1] (training with a mercenary captain or barbarian or something) +1 melee tohit and +1 melee damage, and +1 damage with (axes/swords/hammers/spears/flails/unarmed) - whatever the trainer's best at.
[2] (training with an arena champion) +2 grapple checks etc, and +1 AC when wearing light armor or no armor.
[3] (training with a ranger or marksman) +1 missile weapon tohit, and +1 to hit a specific type of enemy you've fought before(mages or goblins or spiders or something), with any weapon.
[4] (training with a pirate king) get +1 to climbing and jumping and swimming. also, any one time you take damage, you can opt to lose an arm or leg (randomly determined) instead, and take no damage, even if the hit would've killed you - you can do this once for each time you do pirate training at level up.
[5] (training with a generous lord) you get a loyal dog or horse or henchman, who is better than a normal dog or horse or henchman.
[6] (training with a demon or skeleton king or giant snake or something) +3 vs flames or fear or poison or something.

TABLE 3: THIEVES
(thieves get [thief skills] according to their level, as normal)
[1](training with a beggar lord) +2 pickpocket and +1AC in light armor or no armor.
[2](training with a blademaster or street thug) melee backstab goes to 2X or 3X or 4x damage or whatever.
[3] (training with a ranger or marksman) missile backstab goes to 2X or 3X or 4x damage or whatever.
[4](training with an assassin) gain the 'handle poison' skill at d20+0 (assuming DC10). if you're an old hat at poisons, get +5 to that skill.
[5](training with a street performer or theatre troup) gain the 'disguise' skill at d20+5 (assuming DC10). if you're an old hat at disguise, get +5 to that skill.
[6](training with a thief lord or merchant prince) get +1 contact in every city.

TABLE 4: CLERICS
[1](training with a prophet or oracle) cumulative 1/6 chance to forecast future events, once a week. the character doesn't determine the events, only sees them.
[2](training with a bishop or evangelist) +2 to checks to convince somebody to join or support your religion. +1 to convince your god to do special god stuff for you.
[3](training with a beggar-priest or travelling friar) +2 to checks to convince someone to let you stay with them overnight. +2 when begging for alms.
[4](training with a healer or apothecary) +1 to healing spells, and +2 to identify magical reagents.
[5](training with a witch-hunter or inquisitor) get +1 to turn undead. and +2 to know things about witches/abominations/heresies.
[6](training with a angel or demon or similar) get +1 contact on every plane and get +1 to saves vs some alignment or flames or something.

TABLE 5: MAGES
[1](training with an alchemist) +2 to create potions, and +2 to identify potions and reagents. 
[2](training with an astrologer or fortune teller) cumulative 1/6 chance to forecast future events, once a week. the character doesn't determine the events, only sees them.
[3](training with a researcher or scholar) +1 on spell research checks and checks to create magic items.
[4](training with a travelling shaman or hedge wizard) +2 to identify magical stuff and +1AC in light armor or no armor.
[5](training with a djinni or demon or whatever) get a wish.
[6](training with a duelist) +1 to your casting speed.