A BAND OF SNEAKY POETS met on the warpath

A BAND OF SNEAKY	WHY EVEN BOTHER	WHATS THE BIG SECRET
1 POETS	1 they're willing to follow you.	1 they're vampires.
2 MUSICIANS	2 they're beautiful.	2 some of them are dopplegangers.
3 BEGGARS	3 they can heal you.	3 they have proof that one of the DOG LORDS is illegitimate.
4 ACROBATS	4 they know where treasure is.	4 they recently assassinated a DOG LORD.
5 HARLOTS	5 they know where the magic stuff is hidden.	5 they have been corrupted through extended exposure to demon blood.
6 ARMS DEALERS	6 they try to get into your pants.	6 they are scions of a noble bloodline, with its claims on nearby lands
7 ALCHEMISTS	7 they're obvious spies.	7 they are angels sent to spy on humanity.
8 BUTCHERS	8 they try to take you prisoner.	8 they are ghosts, and they know what you did.
9 ASTROLOGERS	9 they have all the best drugs.	9 they're involved in human trafficking, and they've got someone important.
10 STRATEGISTS	10 they will do you a deal on some land.	10 they’re cannibals.
11 PUNK TEENAGERS	11 they will do you a deal on some siege equipment.	11 they're nobles from a nearby fort, slumming it.
12 WITCHES	12 they will do you a deal on some potions.	12 they're nobles from a nearby fort, having swapped lives with commoners.
13 ASH SELLERS	13 they want to pay you.	13 they're two nobles from rival forts, they are lovers.
14 BOTTLERS	14 they're friendly with the enemy and know secrets.	14 they're escaped convicts.
15 WASHER WOMEN	15 they'll kill you if you don't help them.	15 a noble, gave up the noble life to marry a commoner.
16 ARSONISTS	16 they know a secret way into the fort.	16 they're runaways from the magical school asylum prison.
17 ARTISTS	17 they know a secret way into the dungeon.	17 they're with the rebellion.
18 DANCERS	18 they love you.	18 they're not really DOGS.
19 HEATHENS	19 they're friendly with some TROLLS.	19 they've been raiding the villages.
20 TRASH MERCHANTS	20 they're friendly with the DOG LORD.	20 they're a bunch of gnomes standing on top of each other.

NON-COMBATANTS encountered within the fort

1	FOOLS, they are surely mad. the lord keeps them around to amuse himself and to torment his court.
2	CHILDREN, playing cruel and dangerous games that noble children play with their underlings.
3	SLAVE LABORERS. Prisoners of war, they are employed in construction projects about the fort.
4	SERFS seeking asylum. They bear ill news about the lord's crops or flocks or whole fiefdoms, obliterated by war.
5	TAX COLLECTORS sent by a liege-lord, with business to discuss, but the lord seems too busy to hear it.
6	STONEMASONS from the guild of masons. They oversee repairs and new construction.
7	VALUABLE PRISONERS from a recent battle. They are knights, relatives of rival lords.
8	UNWANTED DIGNITARIES from another fort. They have been here for many weeks, but they are guests and courtesy demands that they are treated with care.
9	WISE ELDERS, they have forgotten more about how this fort is run than anyone can remember. if pressed, 1-in-6 chance they reveal something of use.
10	BAILIFFS, they oversee treasures, records and finances.
11	LADIES-IN-WAITING, women of noble birth, companions of the lady. 1-in-3 is keen to marry.
12	CLEANING STAFF. These are supposed to remain unseen at all times.
13	SURGEONS. keeping soldiers on their feet with their specialised healing magicks.
14	MYSTICS. these scholars have various methods of divining UNKENNABLE KNOWLEDGE. The lord trusts them implicitly.
15	WENCHES. attractive peasant youths from the villages, working in shifts, serving booze all day and night.
16	TRAPSMITHS. each fortress employs its trapsmiths for life. The best trapsmiths are those that study under dwarven trapmasters.
17	SIEGE ENGINEERS. these wandering guildsmen go from fort to fort, selling ever-better siege towers, rams and catapults.
18	COWARDLY RELATIVES of the lord.
19	STRATEGISTS, playing complicated wargames on wooden boards. Their place in the rankings determines how much trust the lord places in their advice.
20	BAKERS. The nobility keeps a monopoly on bread. Peasants caught baking their own bread are outlawed.