ok time for cards math

CARDS MATH

dice math is platonic, and mostly in dice math we deal with small numbers. we dont multiply, we add and subtract. multiplication quickly gives you too-large numbers.

poker math is american, revolutionary french, mamluk - and more than this. invented by the chinese. old as paper. the poker math, its not platonic. its exponential.

exponents are hard to store on a computer, but the number 52! is actually much like the number 52. so we can do arithmetic on exponents, and we just have to remember the index.  just treat 52! as 52 for exponent purposes, you can store the number 52. easy.

do you know how data works? its a bunch of bits in a series, bits are either 1 or 0.

a 32 bit number is like

00000000 00000000 00000000 00000001

thats the number 1. the highest number we can represent is:

2 * 2 * 2 * 2 * 2 * ... 32 times. 2 ^ 32.

EXPONENTS
how many different hands are there in poker?

how big is 52! truncated to 5 cards -- i'll tell you. it's like

52 * 51 * 50 * 49 * 48 ( which is 52! - 47!, which is larger than 2 ^ 32 if i remember rightly )

cant do that on a calculator. too many numbers.  but its very easy to do with a deck of cards. a deck of cards is a stack of qbits; and more than this, a stack of any length. the quantum computer is as old as paper.

thats the number of possible hands you can be dealt in poker. it's a too-big number. doesnt fit in 32 bits. so if we wish to calculate the probabilities we will need a large number library  -- or we can use excel or something. everybody can have free spreadsheets now, through google, they probably do large exponents too, i havent checked. in any case you can do the math on the indexes themselves, often. this is probably easier.

MAPS

cards is a space, with dimensions and shit like that. its like: suits * ranks. for each suit one card from each rank. for each rank one card from each suit.

ranks are like numbers + faces

suits are like red + black,but notice that the four suits form a quadrad: its one red for each black and one black for each red. but its also one weak card for each strong and one strong for each weak. what i mean is (clubs and diamonds) are weak, and (hearts and spades) are strong. It's hard to say whether red or black is stronger though. different games rank the suits in different orders. this is fine.

 we can easily make an alternate game where diamonds are strong and hearts are weak. it really depends on what you want to do. in any case a poker deck is an easy structure to build in code. its just four ordered sets of the same 13 cards. plus two jokers lets not forget, wildcards are important too. so we get to 54! truly.  that is, if you deal out all the cards of a poker deck, you get 54! possible orders. these are permutations though, not combinations. i have been lying to you. combinations are a little bit tricky, but not really. you can figure it out. i prefer to work with permutations because i like considering the order the cards come out.

the order doesnt really matter at all: the same five cards are the same five cards no matter which order they come out. i mean maybe in texas hold em but in the other traditional poker i just deal you five cards and you bargain with them. nobody knows what you have.

next: the tarot.

ok enough words time for dice math with dog wizards

all dice have a high bias so long as we count the halfway number as high. For instance, a DC10 d20 check vs no modifier succeeds 55% of the time. if we count 10 as high - 11 numbers are high.  THIS IS GOOD THOUGH because it means we win more often than we fail. I wanted to note how often we do this mistake though, i do it constantly:

on a d12, counting 6 as high: is 58%
on a d10, counting 5 as high: is 60%.
on a d8, 4 as high: is 62%
on a d6, 3 as high: 67%

on a d4 i almost never do it. on a coin you can't.

anyway what im saying is i usuallt forget about this bias and let the last-low be the first-high. but you give the guy a slight advantage with this, larger if its a smaller dice. one of those things.

CHAOS GODS SHORTHAND

my CANON 8 OLD GODS ARE: jubar, the eye. behemoth, the beast, eris, the well, lucifer, the joker. leviathan the serpent, the PROPHET is the fool, the bird is ziz, the slave is the god in chains

anyone can be the prophet.

THESE ARE THE 8 SIDES OF THE TETRATEUCH. tiamat is the whole thing, and the void is the soul of all the gods mixed together, the zero.

CHAOS GODS RUNDOWN

chaos gods:
hastur: the shadow, the father-and-son. cthonic. metal.
eris: discord, the goddess discordia. monty python style godess. hippies.
eredis: discord+wiki. all-knowledge. esoterics.
marriage of hastur and eredis: an abusive relationship that suits noone. fills up the discourse. talks about itself. also represents vaporwave, i like vaporwave.

leviathan: for the fishes in the sea. in my model the sea is the internet.
behemoth: for the earth. meat space?
ziz: for the birds. spoken word?
the devil: in flames. cousin to hastur. paper?

EDIT: ziz is code, is language and crypto. the devil is publishing.



domogorgon; the two gods in one, drama and tragedy.
tiamat: the all gods. dragons. hates ziz.

yahoo: girl chaos.
google: boy chaos.
wiki: neutral chaos.
ur own website: null chaos.
tumblr: yahoo with a metal face
googleplus: google with a hacker face
wikimedia/wikileaks/etc: wiki with a ?????, the truth
the ultimate null website: the ideal. everyone sees but you post nothing.

metal, close to metal. the barest manliest form
rock, bedrock. similar.
hippie, idk much about hippies. theyre into flowery psychadelic girl metal
goth: being the void. screamo.
the all-metal. vaporwave. the new gods.

i do most of my d&d blogging on tumblr these days

i do support social justice magic users and social justice rogues

^

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01/31/15 - 7 PM - 4 minutes ago

anyway when one of your sons comes to you and says, father, i have spent all my weed, what am i to do, you have to draw from the weed stores from your other sons or otherwise impoverish this one. its a difficult choice but traditional fantasy values suggest you shoud divide where capitalist values demand that you should cut the worthless son loose

^

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01/31/15 - 7 PM - 6 minutes ago

this is th too-many-grandchildren-to-remember problem which is ubiquitous in fantasy stories

^

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01/31/15 - 7 PM - 9 minutes ago

actually i do it because its good glitchy noise for puns to hide in

^

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01/31/15 - 7 PM - 10 minutes ago

i preserve misspellings even if they’re typos because it indicates where i had a tiny panic attack because the idea was too filthy

^

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01/31/15 - 7 PM - 10 minutes ago

liek you can actually remember seven stories if you are an average person but that’s probably the maximum number you can expect people to rememeber

^

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01/31/15 - 7 PM - 15 minutes ago

the thing is if you have seven sons then you have to write seven different stories and who has the time and the energy for this? three stories. only three, doable. what if each of your seven sons have seven sons? problematic. too complicated to keep it all in your head

you cant have one hundred grandchildren and also remember their names like seven times seven isnt one thousand and one but it might as well be

^

a playstyle

allowing yourself to be led, looking for things to delight you

a functional memeticts - which memes can be and which meams can not

taking as our axiom: all things are slime

what then are ashes? the remains of the thing when the fire has passed

koln

the five basic colors of slime

featuring THIEF WIZARD infinitestartoad.blogspot.com.au

THIS IS NOT A GRAND UNIFIED THEORY OF SLIME

the faceless men of JU have a thousand and one denominations, each has its own theory of
slime; and all of them are wrong. All known theories of slimeomancy are wrong.

in any case we could hardly have a discussion of the principmes of slime without mention of
DANKNESS

what is DRY, is BRIGHT, is COLD; is ARID - we hate ARID, because arid is not good for
SLIME.

what we love is  DANK. is WET DARK WARM - DANK - thats what

the five basic colors of slime
all slimes are knowable by their color though some colors are unknowable, such as ULFIRE

RED
RED SLIME is gore, the stuff of mammals and ungulates, like your blood and your organs are
made of. A bath of blood is said to restore vigor. RED SLIME is food for us mammals. BILE
comes in many colors but all biles are truly RED.

ORANGE SLIME is amber, honey, treesap, waspwater, ambergris and ambrosisia, the
blood of insects, is ICHOR

GREEN
all plants want to be slime, but slime all slime travels down, and below a certain level no
plants grow, because anything that stays in one place for too long would fall victim to the
slime.
green slime is the basic slime of our grandfathers eats flesh eats metal. all slimes travel
down, and GREEN slime never grows above the ground.

BLUE
blue slime is electricity, bioluminescence,  - deep creatures and mushrooms in dwarven
tunnels and caves made of lava, feeds off the heat

PURPLE
ooze
the fabled color

STICKINESS
stickiness is considered by many slimeomancers a matter of art more than science.
not all slimes are sticky, but all stickiness is slimes.
stickiness is measured on the JU scale of 1 - JU
1 barely sticky
-
7 greatest observed stickiness [Harold, 1298]
-
JU JU JU JU JU JU JU


bonus of slime

BONUS CONTENT: THE THREE FLAVORS
THERE ARE THREE ESSENTIAL flavors

- SALTINESS
- ACIDITY
- the SPECIAL flavor, called UMAMI


RICKWELL THE SLIMEOMANCER

coulda been a prince or something
rejected that in favor of slimes
more of a scientist than a wizard

ulfire slime
demonic slime
zombie slime - wich is a mizture